I saw this show years ago called “coupling”. It is a British comedy, crazy funny (look it up and leave me a comment on if you like it). I swear someone needs to bring it back. Anywho, tangent…sorry. In the show, they had this part where they imagined stacking beer pints. Each pint that stacked made them laugh more. Finally, it would get to the point that they couldn’t hold the laughter anymore and they would create a scene. One time, it happened at a funeral or something.
Take that idea with the pints, apply it here. You wake up late (pint). You kids refuse to get ready and argue all morning and, instead of putting their shoes on, you find them playing Legos (3 more pints). You get in the car and hear, “Mom, I forgot to pack my lunch. And I’m hungry, I didn’t have time to eat.” (2 more pints) On the way to Starbucks to get oatmeal for breakfast and a coffee (because Lord only knows you really need that by now), you get pulled over by the police. Yes, that is a ticket you just got (another pint). You finally get the kids to school 15 minutes late (pint). You get back into the car and feel like you just want to cry, but you don’t want to smudge your make up because you must get to work (pint). Work is busy, which is good, but you don’t get lunch because you have a deadline (pint). You leave straight from work to get the kids. The kids get in the car to yell at you as soon as they get in the car (pint). Then you all get home, do the tutoring, piano lessons, make dinner, do the dishes, and get the kids ready for bed. But they are so tired they have a meltdown including throwing things (pint). That’s it. The yelling starts. You are so tired your eyes are burning, all you want to do is cry, and the stress feels unbearable. Then you get the kids to bed to go cry yourself to sleep (pint tower falls, glass and beer everywhere).
Yes friends, this is a story of an actual day I had.
You see, I am a life coach. But I am also very human, SO very human. I’m also not afraid to show my humanity. I will tell you that I am still learning in this life journey. I can also tell you that I had to process this day. Once I was able to write it all out and really spend time to learn from it, I could have stopped. With each pint, stop, and take a moment to recognize how I was feeling and take time to process. It really doesn’t take long. But instead of being real with myself and how I was feeling in those moments, I pushed it back, thinking that I didn’t have time to feel. Each time I pushed away my feelings, it took more energy. It made the emotions feel bigger. I was lumping all the feelings into one pile of stress instead of separating each one for what it is. I would have been able to talk to the kids with a calm, patient tone that they would have been more receptive to so we could have gotten to school on time. I would have stopped to eat and to take care of my basic needs instead of putting the deadline before myself. I would have cried and not worried about my make up. And, when I picked my kids up from school, I would have asked why they were upset…which would have given me the opportunity for connection instead of distance and strain. At bedtime, I could have scooped up the kids and hugged them tightly…or sung a song until they fell asleep. I don’t expect myself to be perfect. I don’t expect anyone to. I do want to think about how I want to show up in this world. How do I want to show up for me, my family, and my community?
Taking the time to really acknowledge how we feel and process those feelings can save so much time and heartache. The question you must ask is how do YOU want to show up for your world?
If this resonates with you and you want to continue this discussion, feel free to schedule your free consult.