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  • Writer's pictureTheresa Minnoch

What We SAY To Ourselves Matters

Updated: Oct 28, 2021

I am a woman who lost her husband in the beginning of the 2020 pandemic. I am now a widow with 4 kids with special needs. My eldest was 12 and youngest was 4. What that looked like was 5 people grieving in very different ways. During this time, we were faced with things I honestly couldn’t imagine doing on my own. I remember my boys throwing a toy through their window and breaking it. Now, that has happened three times since. At the time, my mind went blank. Totally blank. The thing I played over and over in my head was “I can’t do this alone.” I ended up calling a dad at my kids’ school I barely know to get instructions what to do. Once I had my instructions, I was able to jump into action. At the time I felt like I needed someone to tell me what to do. As if that would help me in some way. I was very much in fight, flight, or freeze. My thought of “I can’t do this alone” gave my brain the permission to feel helpless and victim of the broken window, and newly widowhood. My brain was offering this thought as if it were fact, and at the time I was believing it.

If I had slowed down to take a deep breath and process my feelings. Which at the time was panic. Just acknowledging the way I felt would have given me the opportunity to move into my logical brain. If I had done that I would have known what to do. It’s not rocket science to board up a window and call a window company. It because I was telling myself I can’t do this alone. Telling myself that kept me in the place that I needed someone else to help me. Someone else needed to tell me what to do.

Understanding what our brain is offering us is power. Our brain is the most powerful tool we have. I can guarantee you I no longer allow my brain to say “I can’t do this alone.” I choose to believe I can do anything I set my mind to. I continue to break through limitations I didn’t even realize were there.

What is your brain offering to you?

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