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  • Writer's pictureTheresa Minnoch

So, I went to a bar…

You remember how, when we were kids, making friends was so dang easy?

“Hey, want to play?”


“Mom, I’m going to go play with my new friend!”

Or how about passing a note in class, (yes, I’m that old).

“Mark this box for (yes), Mark this box for (no)”

I get all sentimental just thinking about it.

As adults, the rules drastically change. Because we have now had all our lives to create thoughts, beliefs, assumptions…all of which we now incorporate into how we choose relationships.

My husband passed away May 2020. It was during the Covid lockdown. My best friend lives 2600 miles away. I have a few other friends that are mothers and very busy lives. As time has gone by since my husband’s passing, I found myself going a month or even months without having adult conversation other than for kids’ needs or for work. I felt unsettled, restless, bored, and uncomfortable. It took me about 2 weeks of feeling this way before I realized what the feeling was: LONELY.

Now, I am not a sit-around-and-cry-about-it type of person. If I figure something out, I move to remedy the issue. In this case, that meant going and making new friends. LOL, well let me tell you…THAT is easier said than done (I’m still laughing).

I’ve been called a unicorn twice! I had no idea what that was, but I got the feeling it had something to do with sexuality. I had to have a friend explain it to me last week.

I went to a bar for my birthday. Now, please understand, I have been with my husband for twenty years. I went to the bar and asked the same questions to everyone I met. It was fascinating to see the different reactions of people. I asked simple questions. “Name, age, what do you do?” Of course, with kindness and class. The responses? One guy got mad at me when I asked how old he was. Other people didn’t want to tell me what they did for a living. No joke, I didn’t expect that to be an offensive question for some folks, let alone how old you are. But, alas, everyone has their own experiences, right?

What has some of YOUR experiences been when trying to make friends as an adult? Tell me your stories in the comments below. Then click here to read the next part of my friend journey.

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